Pink Shirt Day: A Personal Reflection
The words that people speak hold power. He mana tō te korero.
The words of those who bullied me still hurt me.
To this day, I hide from unwanted and unwarranted attention, I fear criticism and perceive failure because I expect to be perfect. I do like to lead but tend to do so from within a group, being at the front isn’t somewhere I’m comfortable.
Fitting in, going unnoticed, and keeping a low profile are all techniques that have helped me feel safe. My fear of failure or gaining unwanted attention challenges my self-confidence, especially as I did not develop a sense of self-worth or learn to manage emotions in my youth.
I left school to escape bullying. Focusing on surviving and hiding, and having low self-confidence placed a limit on my own learning and development.
When I think back on my career, I can clearly see a preference for work-based learning. Finding a space that fit me enabled my confidence to grow as I saw my ability to do the work and to learn new skills. In contrast, I have often experienced crises of confidence and credibility because of a perceived lack of formal qualifications. I have started, but not finished, qualifications at times of career change and believe that gaining academic credibility was my main motivation for study.
As I grew, it was a sense of unfairness that gave me the courage to stand up to my bullies and for myself. Since then, I have stood up where I’ve seen injustice and for what I felt to be right. This has given me a strong sense of confidence and motivation to act. I see this reflected in my work through a shared purpose and commitment to enable others.
Now, as the CEO and Chief Enabler at Changing Minds I have the opportunity to encourage and support change for myself and many others.
Starting in my new role, my first challenge is to ride the waves of self-doubt while I stand up for what matters. Worry will continue to wash over me and will knock me off my feet, but I can calm it and get on with what needs to be done. I am still understanding the full effects of bullying on my wellbeing, but I do know it is a constant factor, especially at times of change and challenge.
Kevin and Sophia showing their support for Pink Shirt Day 2022
I, for one, want to stop bullying. I want to nurture and enable people with Lived Experience of bullying, and of mental distress and addiction to stand up, inspire and lead change.
Our individual experiences and contributions are different, but together we can amplify the voices and experiences of different communities, individuals and networks.
Together we can use knowledge and education to show that our experiences create change, and we can use our expertise to lead action.
We can wear our colours, speak up and stand together.
About Pink Shirt Day
Pink Shirt day is a global moment where we come together to take a stand against bullying, and create schools, workplaces, communities and whānau where everyone feels safe, valued and respected. This year Pink Shirt Day is celebrated on Friday 20 May and supported by the Mental Health Foundation.
Support for Your Wellbeing
Changing Minds shares a list of resources we support on our website, including information on contacting 1737 if you need to talk to someone straight away about your wellbeing, or the wellbeing of a loved one.
Preventing Bullying & Supporting Others
Preventing Bullying in the Workplace (Mental Health Foundation toolkit)
Learn how to safely be an upstander (Mental Health Foundation guide)
How to stop online bullying (Netsafe)
Long Read: Research on Online Abuse (eSafety Commissioner Australia)
Online Bullying information for Parents (Netsafe)