Breaking the silence: Opening up about Lived Experience
Author: Dr Snita Ahir-Knight (she/her), Rākau Roroa, is a Lecturer and Programme Lead for the Lived Experience education and research programme World of Difference | He Ao Whakatoihara kore within the Department of Psychological Medicine, University of Otago – Ōtākou Whakaihu Waka, Wellington, Aotearoa New Zealand. Snita is a trained child and adolescent therapist, and social worker. She has more than 15 years’ experience working in the not-for-profit, community, and mental health sectors in New Zealand and the UK.
For many years, I kept my Lived Experience hidden, convinced that my recovery from a mental disorder, and living with madness and a differently wired brain, made me ‘odd’ in a world that values a certain idea of strength, success, and normalcy.* I shared my story with only a select few, terrified of rejection. The fear of being judged for not measuring up to societal expectations, such as not being ‘strong enough’ or ‘together enough’, kept me from being open. But now, I have chosen to break that silence. By publicly sharing my Lived Experience through speaking and writing, I have found a path toward empowerment.
In a series of written pieces for Changing Minds, I will share my evolving journey of openness. Through these reflections, I will explore the lessons I learn, the triumphs I celebrate, and the difficulties I face along the way. However, this is not just about my story. It is about the collective power of shared experiences.
The decision to open up began when I asked myself why I had kept my Lived Experience hidden for so long. The answer became clear after I spent time healing and processing my experiences. There is immense pressure in society to appear ‘normal’. That is, to fit in, be a certain idea of strength, and succeed. Any sign of mental struggle or difference is harshly judged. By concealing my Lived Experience, I had unintentionally reinforced these same harmful expectations. However, I realised that a compassionate and inclusive society must begin with a shift in the narrative. And that shift involves us sharing our stories.
Stock image credit: Darren Ee
I began by speaking to close family and friends who already knew about my experiences, asking for their thoughts on being more open. I also connected with others in the Lived Experience community to hear their reflections on embracing transparency. After much contemplation and discussion, I decided to take the leap and share my story with a broader audience. Although I could have chosen to limit my disclosures to a smaller group, I wanted to reach more people, to have a wider impact and challenge the silence perpetuating stigma.
The response has been eye-opening. People have expressed empathy, understanding, and deep gratitude for my honesty. My openness has also sparked a ripple effect, encouraging others to share their stories. Many have told me that my openness has helped them feel seen and validated in their journeys. This connection has been a powerful outcome, as it reminds me of how important it is for us to share our stories. It is through this exchange of experiences that we can break down isolation and build a supportive community.
That said, I’ve been careful about how much of my story I share. Deciding what to disclose, and to whom, is never easy. Some aspects of my experience are deeply personal, and I must consider the potential impact of sharing certain details. I will explore these challenges more in future writings, as they are part of the ongoing process of self-reflection. But I also know this: the power of storytelling cannot be overstated. Every story shared is a step toward dismantling stigma, challenging misconceptions, and creating a more compassionate culture.
Ultimately, I believe that sharing our stories is an essential part of healing. That is not just healing ourselves but also for the community around us. Every time we speak our truth, we create an opportunity for others to feel seen, heard, and less isolated. The more we break down the silence, the closer we come to fostering a culture where people are embraced for who they are, in all their complexity. It is through this collective sharing that we can cultivate a deeper sense of compassion, understanding, and connection, embracing the richness of our experiences as they unfold over time.
*Note: Although the terms I use may not resonate with everyone in the Lived Experience community, I personally identify with them. I recognise that there are various ways people choose to define their experiences, and that diversity of language and perspective is what makes the Lived Experience community so rich and valuable. In future writings, I will discuss what these terms mean for me, and how my experiences shape my understanding of the terms.